{1}

Maafkan aku,
bila aku adalah air mata yang jatuh dari pelupuk mata mu
akulah kepedihan yang mendera.

Maafkan aku,
bila aku adalah debu halus yang terhirup olehmu, melekat pada paruparu mu
akulah yang membuatmu sesak tak bernafas...

Maafkan aku,
bila aku adalah bayangbayang kemarin yang muncul ketika pikirmu melayang
akulah peracau pikiramnu

Maafkan aku,
bila aku adalah sosok pedih yang hadir dan selalu kau lekati dengan hatimu
akulah penyandera jiwamu

Aku mencintaimu, terlalu mencintaimu, lelah mencintaimu....
aku adalah air, udara, bayangan, tanah...
adalah api
aku ada sebagai segalanya, baik kau mau atau tidak.

dad

mom

I'm officially a full time mother...

and I'm proud of it



image: becomingpeculiar.com

june bug

hi, hello there... this is my first letter to you, although i have so much to say earlier-when i had just realize that you are exist. It's been a while since you are inside, is it comfort enough dear? In weeks we will meet soon... I hope you don't mind to feel a little bit uncomfortable once you've breath your first breathe. You'll feel cold and dazzled, but i promise i will hug you and let's pray, your dad will be there in time.Of course it's been a journey to you, from a very little till you have develop your body part and enough strength to come out. God has weave you in a hide.. As well as a journey to you - it has been a journey for me too. you know this is my first time. I've try to overcome and accept the pain at my restless nights and try hard to prepared my self to hold you in my arms. Sometimes i feel i'm not good enough for you. Dad also go through the journey... he become more patient, work harder and supported. You should meet him. I think he will be one of the most lovable dad in the world. I believe he will take care of us. Baby, i want to give you the best i have... We will be a friend right? We will play together, laugh & cry... i'll accompany you when you want to climb a tree... i'll show you how to use paintbrush... i'll tell you how to win a girl's heart... your dad,  he will give you advice which book you should read... show you how to take your first picture with his Nikon and teach you how to be a good man. So much thing we can do together as a family... so much fun are waiting for you. The world is still a beautiful place - although it's can be a little suck, it depends how we are looking at one thing. you'll experience it soon... but for now, don't be in a rush... take your time and save your energy. Sleep tight and prepare your self out when God says you are ready.. Don't be afraid.. St. Raphael - the healer and friend be with you.

love you,
mom

eyewitness